The other day, I was taking a business owner through one of our one-on-one discovery calls. We were discussing his quest for balance in his life. He has a flourishing business, a fabulous and healthy marriage, three young boys (two baby twins), and a passion for cycling. He loves them all.
I used his bike as an analogy. His quest resembles the stages of learning how to ride. At first we focus on achieving balance. But after a while, we grow more comfortable and find our balance. Eventually, we move to a level of mastery where we learn to integrate all the parts of riding into one pleasurable whole. Our breath, our physical power, the environment, and the bike, or whatever you are riding, become one harmonious experience. And quite a high. After a while we want to make more impact. Or a different one. We may buy different bikes, enter different races, create businesses around bikes. At each point we are challenging our balance. Until we realize that challenge is no longer challenging. At that point we ask:
This question is why we created Vista Caballo, which, loosely translated, means “viewed from the perspective of the horse.” What these extraordinarily intuitive creatures taught me and what became life changing for me was how a shift in perspective can open up an entirely new facet of me—and of life. My radio silence on our blog has been due to my focus on concluding the four-year build of our newest creation: The StillPoint Experience. We created this interactive, multilevel on-line journey on our website to reduce stress, increase courage and eliminate fear by helping people discover the subconscious ways they make decisions. They learn, for instance, how to allocate what seems like an ever-shrinking bucket of time to what they love and what needs their attention. And how to have better relationships. With everything. Humans can feel anxious when they feel out of control. Information gives us a sense of control. Google Search is a great example of a tool that helps us regain our sense of control through access to a lot of information.
The Vista System is series of science-based, unique experiences designed to will help you understand yourself and how to operate in the world in new ways. Choose the experience that suits the depth of discovery and fulfillment you are looking for. Learn more.
Very often, what prevents us from trying new approaches is our inability to completely trust our own decisions. We don’t know who we are outside of what we know, aka the information we have. So we do what we know. But what we know is a limited resource bank. It may also be the antithesis of how we feel, which can lead to frustration, unhappiness, and even depression. If our strategy to achieving work-life balance is to figure out how to allocate the same amount of time and effort to the various areas of our lives, something or someone is going to get shortchanged. Usually us.
When we change from tunnel vision to an expanded perspective, we can change the trajectory from a linear-thinking upward climb of “getting there” to an expanded experience of living as “being here.” With a life lived immediately in the here and now, all sorts of other things—for the better—start to fall into place. We cannot control the increasingly fast-paced life around us, although it can be tempting and fun for a while as we build our egos, along with testing our levels of physical endurance and emotional resilience. When we focus on achieving success this way we inadvertently train our thinking. Any change to that way of thinking then becomes risky. Thus, we are afraid to do so.
Yet there are many leaders who yearn for a life well lived in the present. So we created what we did to show them how they can jump to a new trajectory if they want to.
Our essential message that inspired The StillPoint Experience: When you bring your thinking styles into balance with each other, they integrate and your overall perspective changes. The lens widens. You can see the whole picture. Not just a bigger picture. But the whole picture. Before your eyes, you can see solutions you could not see before. That’s called awareness. Have you ever rented a red car, for example, and as soon as you start to drive it, you notice that other red cars seem to be everywhere? Same premise. We are trained to compartmentalize the diverse elements of our lives—which also happens to be the way the brain works. When we move away from compartmentalizing and toward integrating, new opportunities can present themselves. If we are willing to see a situation differently, it opens our mind to asking fresh questions. For example, rather than asking how to gain more balance in life—which assumes you are compartmentalizing the elements of your life—what if you looked at your life as already whole and balanced? Then you can see what you have to do to achieve what you see.
When we shift our perspective to quality of life rather than quantity of things, it permits us to shift from a linear upward climb to a rejuvenating ability to expand life mindfully in the here and now. I admire the way the Roman philosopher Seneca 2,000 years ago advised his readers to broaden their thinking and live life expansively: “We are not given a short life, but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it…Life is long, if you know how to use it.” For us today in the modern era I find that perspective worth mentioning as an instigator for a new work-life balance lens and the worthy goal of a harmonious life lived fully and well.
Learn more about how finding balance can impact your life and your business in our blog about regaining balance.